Blame the Right Wing

Hated the Super Bowl in general? Blame the Right Wing, I'm serious.

My dislike of the Super Bowl has a lot to do with the quality of the commercials and the halftime show. Yes, I know that the central point of the Super Bowl is the actual sixty minutes of punishment called the gridiron, but through the years, it has been the commercials and the halftime show which have taken center stage. Everyone knows that the thirty-second spots go into the six figures [right?]. And everyone knows about Janet's tit flopping out in 2004 [right?]. Well, those commercials used to be good and the halftime shows used to be at least halfway decent... until some fuckers got around to rewatching the quarter-second exposure of a tit on their VCRs/DVRs.

There was no fucking outrage until several days later. There were no form letters emailed [they didn't even bother to cite their own anger? They had to all use form letters?] en masse to the networks and their advertisers. There were no mass call-ins to talk shows and radio shows until days later. Manufactured outrage by those bullshit "American Family" groups. It wasn't genuine. These fuckwads were told that it was an outrage, they had missed the actual live tit; but it was replayed [blurred out] almost 24/7 in the next week.

Since then, things have become more and more sanitized. Paul fucking McCartney played the halftime show last year. And this year, the Rolling Stones? I'm not saying that these two acts weren't culturally relevant thirty years ago and didn't have an impact on my life that I don't even know I was aware of. I'm saying who the fuck cares about them now aside from people who are over forty. In this hip-hop generation we live in, there's no chance in hell that Kanye West, Eminem, 50 Cent, Jay-Z or some other multi-multi-multi platinum selling artist would be seen on that halftime show platform. And oddly, the ABC NFL censors thought that the Stones were too raunchy for the viewers. Chroist.

If we can't have some geriatric geezers talking about how they can't get no satisfaction, who the fuck are we supposed to watch FOR ENTERTAINMENT. Is next year's show going to have a Catholic boys and girls choir chant hymns? Fly in a gregorian chant group from Eastern Europe? Why not just black out the video feed for the forty-five minute halftime? Just leave it blank. Because god forbid you'd show a girl in a fucking bikini in a beer ad. It's not like they're not doing it for every single other football game for the entire season. Why not during the Super Bowl? I'm not saying that beer ads should all have girls in bikinis, but that girls in bikinis are what seem to dominate beer ads, and why censor them during the commercial orgasmothon that is the Super Bowl?

I didn't watch a second of the halftime show. I hate all Budweiser beers. I miss the Bud Bowl. And it didn't help that this game was one of the sloppiest that I can recall.

The Blinq commentary on the ads. And he liked the geriatric performance.

Comments

[yoko]

I personally have never understood the hype about the commercials during the Super Bowl. But I can tell you that the worst commercial I saw last night was for Hummer.

I care very little for halftime as well. But let me tell you, if I look as slim and trim as Mick Jagger when I'm his age, well, I'd be shakin' my thang, whether or not I can still sing.

But the best parts? Willie Parker's 75-yard return. The gadget play with Randle El's pass to Hines Ward. Those made watching the game worthwhile.

[Daniel Rubin]

Let this geezer amplify. Liked that the Stones were on. Liked that they looked pretty good in Oakland Raiders black, compared, say, to some of the NFL greats who have had to run some tougher gantlets. (Keith did look at times as if he was searching for his reading glasses.) I hated that Ronnie Wood's guitar seemed to have gone missing until his solo in Start Me Up. That they censored 'come' and "cocks" is absurd. We haven't traveled far enough from the day when Ed Sullivan made them sing 'Let's Spend Some Time Together.' But they are the Stones, and mediocre Stones is better than the best Aerosmith or Paul McCartney or Janet and Justin or what have you.

[Scott]

I've never really liked the Stones (I like some of their songs, but do I like the group? Eh), however, I wouldn't blame them for a lame half time show.. Superbowl half time shows are always lame. Feel free to correct me by pointing out a super cool halftime show (I suppose the U2 one was ok... but still... lame).

[albert]

super cool, no. completely uninteresting to *me* were the stones and paul mccartney. they are completely uninteresting to me. as is paul mccartney during halftime.

more interesting was the rediculously over the top several set 2004 set. 2002's U2 was cool and so was 2001's Aerosmith, *N’SYNC, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige and Nelly set - I recall Britney being interesting back then.

[Scott]

Ah, but they are all still 'safe picks,' whether or not they're interesting to you.. and that's what it boils down to. Half time has always been big, overblown, and bland (if you ask me, which you didn't).

[albert]

is the sex appeal of Bono, Britney and Nelly equal to that of the 60+ year olds of McCartney and Jagger and Richards? sex sex sex is what seems to be such a 'problem' with society and that's why the last 2 years' shows have been headlined by 60+ year olds. they were 'safe' in that none of them are as controversial as say 50 Cent, but not 'safe' in that they aren't sexy.

[Chris]

The Stones have never been better than a shit sandwich with Tatar sauce, so the fact that they sounded like shit last night was no surprise. What other choice did they have? They used to be young, talentless hacks who never learned to play their instruments. Now they're old and they still haven't bothered. I'd rather listen to a gassy rhino for 10 minutes.