I've said before how the only thing I really wanted out of a real job was to have business cards! I've never had a business card before. Not in my 3 summers at Vibe not in my summer at Nerve, not in my year and a half at Spring Street Networks. Now, at PW I have all the business cards I can carry.
What would I want with all these business cards? First, I wanted to do that fake exchange with my friends where I walk up to them as if it's a business meeting, extending my hand to shake theirs with a business card in the other hand. I know, it's stupid, but I've always wanted to do it. And now, all of my friends have my business card from said exchange.
Second, I wanted to be able to drop my business card off at bars, clubs, restaurants, WHEREVER there was a bin to put it in. Why? Free shit. I've always wanted to be called at my office and have someone tell me that I've won a free dinner, free happy hour, free lunch or breakfast for my office. Anything. Well, I've already won a happy hour and today, I won a free lunch!
I got a call this morning telling me that I had won a free lunch for 8 at Pietro's Coal Oven Pizza. The only catch is that it is sponosred by American Express Financial Services. Some doucebag is going to give a quick 5 minute presentation to us as we await our food, grab the check and then take off. Pretty sweet, eh? I sent out an email to the sales department and within minutes, the other 7 spots were filled. So, on Monday at noon, we'll eat a free lunch at a great Italian eatery. Sweetness. All thanks to my business card!
I highly advise all of your asses to get a job where you have your own business card. Hell, make your own free business cards and carry them around with you! Just make sure to put a fake company like Fleeceworld Inc. and give yourself a title, like consultant and make your business location slightly out of town. Like if you really live in Philly and want to make up a fake address, say like King of Prussia as the city of your fake company. Why go to these lenghts? Perhaps the schmuck picking out these biz cards is hip to da game. Good luck to all you scammers. I've done my share of scamming in my day. All it takes is a little elbow grease and who knows, you may end up having your own big screen TV in your living room for the next 6 months for only $35. How? Just ask and I shall impart my wisdom.
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